Bittersweet Decision: The War Brides 40 Years Later by Helene R. Lee
Bittersweet Decision isn’t something I’d have read if my Grandmother weren’t in it. She was one of the war brides interviewed for the book. I have a copy of the manuscript she wrote in response to the original questionnaire and can pick out the spots where she appears. She’s called Ann in the book.
It’s a little sad how many of these women ended up unhappy, although I think they unfairly attributed their unhappines to America and Americans. It can’t generally be a good idea to marry someone you’ve only known briefly and have never seen in their home environment, no matter what country you or they may come from.
Culture shock is harped on in the book. You wouldn’t think there’d be that much cultural difference from the UK to the US. I suppose there were more significant differences back then but it sounds like some of the differences were really about social rank – that some of the women married way “beneath” them without understanding either that they were doing it or the ramifications of doing it. I must say that I had no idea so many houses in the US still had outdoor toilet facilities at the end of World War II. The US is a big place, very different from one end to another. I imagine you could have a similar shock if you met someone in NY City and he took you home to live in Kansas or Kentucky.
I think that if you live some place your entire adult life and still feel homesick for the place you grew up, that it might be more about you than the place. At some point you need to either accept the place you live as home or leave. I suspect many of these women wouldn’t have been any happier if they’d married their own countrymen. Anyway, I’m glad to say that my Grandmother was one of the happy ones.